Part 1: Retreat Reflections — The Power of Presence, Vulnerability & Community

What happens when you build a retreat not just for others—but for your own transformation too? 🌿 In this episode of The FitZen Project, Rachel Fitzpatrick explores the courage, vulnerability, and community magic that turn a yoga retreat into a soul-level awakening.

Join Rachel, Gwen, and Celessa as they reflect on the creation of a transformative yoga retreat—where energy met awareness, and every moment became an invitation to return home to self. They unpack the art of holding safe space, leading with intuition, and staying grounded through the unexpected gifts of collaboration.

Whether you’re a yoga teacher, retreat leader, or seeker of meaningful growth, you’ll hear:
 ✨ How to design experiences that nurture both body and soul
 ✨ Why vulnerability is a superpower in conscious leadership
 ✨ How shared energy and awareness become catalysts for healing
 ✨ The unseen transformation that occurs when community and purpose align

Tune in, breathe deep, and remember—every act of showing up for yourself is a ripple of transformation for the world around you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:01

Hi friends. Oh, welcome back to the Fits in Project. And today I am so honored to get to share the experience that we had at the yoga retreat, the Fits in Yoga Retreat that we had on October 9th through the 12th. And oh my goodness, sitting down with this luscious conversation with my mom Gwen and my friend Celeste, who is basically like my sister now, my soul sister. We're all soul sisters here. And what this truly meant to us, you will get to hear, and how it actually came into fruition, and how the whole entire birth of the Fitzin Project, or no, the Fitz and Yoga retreat was made. So I really hope you enjoy the authenticity that shared, the love that shared, and the pure passion that you're gonna hear. And when you do, please give us a star or a comment or whatever you can to review and let us know your thoughts because honestly, I would love to hear. I'd love to hear what you'd like to see be made through all of this. And also, um we have a new thing coming. So please make sure you listen to part two of this Fitzin Yoga Retreat special because it is special. It's absolutely the most endearing, beautiful gift I think we could have created that's come out of this yoga retreat together. So um before we jump in, I do want to acknowledge that I have some affiliates down in the show notes. So you'll see in our podcast today I am wearing an awesome robe, and so is Celeste, and believe it or not, my mom has one too, which we ran through the whole retreat in. And anyway, those are from Lotus and Luna, and I love their mission. I love what they stand for, I love the quality of their clothes. I do have a link in the show notes, and you can use code FITSIN to get your 20% off of your own robe and your own harm pants that are just like the best loungewear ever. But on top of that, I speak about my mentorship and I just can't think it enough. Like if it wasn't for my mentorship with Kathy Heller. I don't know that I would be doing this today. Maybe I'd be doing this eventually. Maybe it would be in like some years from now, but I don't know that I would have had the thought, the courage, the belief that I've been learning and instilling in myself through that program, through that mentorship that I have today. So you can check out the wealth identity um link. That's the one that I've been doing. And also the full abundance link is in the show notes too. And that's where I started. So truth be told, I will share, share, share everything that's gotten me here because if it's worked for me, I know it's gonna work for somebody else. And that's really all this is about is sharing and how to really just make these passions and these inner fires and these drives like stay alive. So I know you can feel it. I can feel it. I'm just like so beyond excited. And anyway, without further ado, listen to me, mom and Celessa and uh the heart and soul.

SPEAKER_00: 3:43

All right, welcoming to the space in our tree house, in our little lighthouse, the first lighthouse. They're up there, they are meaningful little things that we didn't even know they were gonna speak to us when we got them. Ooh, takes me back. Oh no, that takes me back to the retreat. Yes, the fits in yoga retreat. Oh wow. So I mean, there's so many official ways that I can open up the scenery and uh dive right in just for our fitsens, our Fitsies that listen in, our tribe that listen in. Oh man, ooh, I like saying Fitsies. That well, our Fitsies that I feel like we um so I want to begin basically by starting out the vision and what this felt like when I wanted to bring in a retreat to the people. Was teaching yoga, been teaching yoga forever. My whole purpose of becoming a yoga teacher was the vision of leading retreats on this gorgeous island in the middle of nowhere and having God's sanctuary surrounding all of us. And we lay on a beach and literally shavasana our way through the week. That's what I'm saying. That's the next vision. Yeah, so I was like, that is so cool. Of course, I want to be a yoga teacher, and then then as that evolved and everything, it mean it meant more. It um I didn't know what I was getting into. It was like being an onion, going into being wanting to be a yoga teacher, and then I peeled it back to the core and broke down, broke through over and over and over and over. So then leading yoga, being home, fast forward eight years. I knew this place, this superb special heart-centered community in Stanford, Kentucky, needed the light to be just blown, like blown up because and I knew we had it, like I knew we could carry it through. I'm in this mentorship. I'm like, I want to be a retreat leader, and then I got proposed with well, be one. What do you mean, be boys? Just well, just have one, just host one. I'm like, I can do that. Yeah, you don't need a certificate, you don't need all of these things. Yes, you need to be like a if you're gonna do a yoga retreat, hopefully you're a yoga teacher. But it's like, you know, I felt like I needed to be more. I needed 500 hours, not two. Or 300 hours, not two, you know. And I've been going to these festivals, yoga festivals, music festivals, all the things, you know. Like, how do you get into the experience? You just do it, you just do it. So all that to lead up to purposefully creating it, so many brainstorm sessions with my mom, and how we can align this, and she's like, I'll do it with you. I'm like, Yes, let's go. I mean, we were at first watch, and I had been scoping out the cabins and everything. I knew I wanted that Red River Gorge because my first one going to Bali just seemed a little bit out of my thoughts. I'm so I'm like, the gorge, I know about the gorge, that would be awesome. Um, or I'm looking at cabins and I'm going back and forth between one or the other, and she's like, that one. I'm like, right now, do it. I'm like, do right now. Slater's soda did in February, and I was like, All right, it's set in motion. No take that one, just pray for good health, pray for good weather, here we go. And then how am I gonna get the people? You notice the thought I said, how am I gonna get the people? Right, William. I didn't get anybody. I did not get anybody.

SPEAKER_02: 8:26

Maybe two years, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 8:29

I seized opportunities of conversations with people, and they're like, Well, what is what are you gonna do there? And all the words, the only word I could say is it's gonna be a transformation. I did not know how to describe the feeling, it just was the feeling of transformation, and I didn't know who, what, when, where, how, at all, but diving more into that. And then I was like Celeste meeting me in the middle of a parking lot, and she's all like, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna do this Reiki thing. I feel like I could talk to you about it. I'm like, yeah, let's do it. I need you to do that. And then we did our podcast. We had a podcast about you and your life and your Reiki mastery. What she said in that podcast was, it's not me doing the Reiki, it's through me doing the Reiki. And I'll never forget those words because you just like cried right when you said that as a just the most emotional, passionate way of speaking. So I was like, who there's something missing? We knew we would have food, we knew we would have a way to be, but we had food. I knew I had the passion and the want to and the to-do, but there was this extra energy level. Just knew I could I wanted to bring home. That's when I was like, Celeste, please. I party nice with it was in timing for me as well, because even way before the podcast when I met you, the parking lot, and I was like, I can talk to you about this thing that I'm doing. You know, you came to me in perfect timing as I was in the middle of breaking training. And uh, you were like, hey, I think I want to incorporate you in this thing that I've doing. Well, we had the same vision. I just didn't know how I was gonna get there by me opening up and talking to you, you know, a way back. Yeah, about this thing that I was doing that, you know, a lot of people probably wouldn't understand you saw that. So thank you for that. And how this has come full circle. You know, after I said yes, I don't know, I'm gonna do this, I don't know how I'm gonna get there, but I said yes, and everything just started to flow in motion for me. Next thing, you know, I'm in level three year struggle teaching. What am I gonna do with this? Well, here it is, here we are. And your and your coaching just like flourish from this the day we bought the cabin. Like, I'm gonna see this more. To to think that I mean, I've been doing that work my whole life. That was my career, whether I was in nursing or whether I was actually in a high school classroom teaching or being a mom since since I was 19 years old, you know. So yeah. Um all the things just came together. But but you just said something that goes right along with what you just said. I've got this, I've got a vision. I've got a dream, I've got a vision, and you have a vision, but but you all are not even in each other's realm. I have a vision that we could talk about, but then how it all just came together fruitlessly, fruitlessly that what about it's a thing. I know I can talk to you, you're gonna understand the vulnerability that wasn't my part, and it's got to be part of this because everything that happened in the transformation, and the only way that that could occur would be for being vulnerable. Yeah, for being vulnerable, vulnerable enough to trust that she's gonna understand vulnerable enough for me to say, yeah, I've got I've got a new plan looking at it now that has nothing to do with being the wife and the mother, you know? Yeah, yeah, but as co-creators, I like that co-creators, co-creators, yeah. We all had different paths but the same vision, yeah. It was all leading to the same thing. Yeah, they got this whole thing on its way, and no one even knew no one even knew they just came. They just came. They I mean my papa said, build a church and they will come, build it and they will come. You know, like it absolutely then they will go. And it's so true, like if they will come. And you said, you know, just do it, they will come. And I'm like, who is they? It doesn't matter. We're not we don't know that. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who they are, they are the ones that are also without knowing, are on that same search, that same hunger. I'm blood because, you know, that was also another thing that I did while I was there with the food and the food, and you know, we sound like we eat all the time, and that's not really true, but it's it's the nourishment of the soul, whether it's actual literal food or the spiritual gathering faction coming together, yeah, and the fun, the flavor style, you know, is it being volunteering expressive freedom of fun in the kitchen while we sit oh and dance, and you know, that's a definite that's a different level of soul food. I probably like soon, yeah, everything. Yeah, there's a lot of layers to the one thing that we that goes into that. Yes, heart. So much, so much nourishment also to all of the things. So they came. They came, and it was so cool. Okay, so when I was making the vision and because I I wanted to make it palpable to where it was pulsating and allowing you to feel it through all senses, and that's what you pulled out of me when you were like, it's gotta touch all senses. Yeah, we had that with the beauty and the serenity of the whole cabin, and it was so sacred. And I mean, literally, we were on top of what looked like the canyon of Red River Gorge Mountains, yeah, and we were eye-level with eagles, yeah, yeah, soaring in their own sky like wind, you know, we were eye-level with them. It was bananas, it was so pre-modest. Yeah, I'm not gonna say so, yeah. And I mean, a three-tiered decked cabin just right up in with the stars. And what was so cool about that is we did touch into the food and we got into seeing the taste and the smell. We had incense, glorious incense that we had all just kind of brought together, and uh, people would just pick one up and burn it, just out of I don't know, instinct, intuition, whatever, just needing the the aromas just never stopped. Essential oils, the and the candles, the the food, smelling it, all of it just never stopped going. Fresh green coffee, and yeah, but then we got to feel and that was your magic, your gift. You know, I think we all look for um magic and spirit, right? Because how else are we gonna be able to justify what just happened majestically? I think spirit and the whole form of uh biblical terms, even it has its own majestic realm to it, but really it's a trust. And like speak to that and how your energies just literally flowed. Well, I I didn't have to do much of anything besides just bring awareness that it was already there within each of us, and just highlighting all of the things that were in front of us, like the stars, the eagles, the coffee. That part of me that I work with with other people is already there. I don't have to do anything, bring your awareness to it, allow you the freedom to be aware freedom, freedom, yeah, be vulnerable to that. I don't know. That's gonna be my word, I bet in God to be open, yeah, to it. Yeah, you're safe here. Yeah, and that was the point of me, you know, when I did the podcast the first time I came in just to talk about Reiki, and I ended up talking about things that I had been through in my life. Yeah, and so I had some feelings about that afterwards, and I discussed that with you. Like, I feel like I need to say more because I wanted to, that was not the vibe. I wanted to talk about great things, but the importance of that and looking back now, I needed everybody to know that where I'm coming from now came from a place where we've all been. Everybody can relate to loss and grief and sadness of our kind. And I've done that inner work to see past all that into where I'm at now is a place of pure love from filling my own cup, and up spilling it all out so that it's empty, so I can sit here with these fabulous people with this mission to help others. And so it was important. It's such a mission. And it's so much greater than just us individually, and that's the importance of us being together now. I love it, and the sharing of that, and you know, just like you said, we all have it. Always had it in your onion, but yet you know somebody else's dirt, our own dirt, whatever. And it just keeps piling and piling, but it's the scraping away of that. It's creating the safe space though. Because it's scary. Oh my gosh. It's scary to go. It's dark and you know you want to say that that wasn't the vibe I wanted to bring, but without that, you can't appreciate the light. Yeah. And and I think we've all kind of done that a little bit, you know? Yeah. A whole lot, not just a little bit. That was very sweet of me to start it like that. We do that a lot. Um, that we have to have, and we're just because we are actually born into this, and that's what we agreed to when we raised our hand and said, Yeah, I'll go do that, is how much do we get before we actually transform and become. Yeah. I mean, and that's why it's magical. And that's why you've got this uh majestic realm and you look like an aura when you walk into the room. And you are this like beam of real life having and gorgeous energy people are so attracted to. Magnetize, right? You're a magnet. You walk in and they're like, you're my safe place, you are the safe place. So what by being the safe place, it's automatically created around you. You can talk to me, you can tell me how your vision is and what it is, and what it is because I I did go through the trenches to find my safety in me. Yeah. And you don't outsource that, right? Like you don't outsource that. So I think that was super cool because you tapped on um some big key words that I think this whole community is experiencing through this message is freedom. You know, your vulnerability, going through the darkness to get into the light, and then knowing that is your mission. To share the light, to share it the light, the mission, as that is that is what is whole all of it coming through to be like that's the end game because it's evolving and it never stops, and there is no like you can come back from a retreat and you can be on a level 10. Oh my gosh, and then you get sideswiped, and then what? Well, then you go back to your safe place that you know that you cultivated within like how many times did we memorize that feeling in the retreat? Absolutely, that's what we come back to. Yeah, those things that we were uh visualizing in our wants and our dreams, staying almost like stay the course, you know, stay the course, become unattached, become attached, no expectations, but no limitations, right? Be presenting and the spend the spend of the control of what is happening, what was that any after the retreat? You were not in control of that, you're not in control, and to surrender to that and having uh faith that you said that word, um, or maybe I thought of it when you were staying the faith you are going to be okay because that is the bigger mission. That is the bigger mission. You're going to be okay. The trust factor, right? It's a trust fall. It's a trust hall when you go to a retreat and you know no one, which most of the people that came didn't know anybody. Y'all didn't know them. Y'all didn't, y'all didn't know them at all. You knew too, but that was really I knew them. One of them I had never met, but I knew them at some point in some part of my path to be able to provide like just trust me, you're gonna wanna be there, and like that's how I described it to be vol like that's all I got, but the courage that I took for these people who only really had a connection with one right were hung and not really maybe even know how many people were gonna be there, but the courage to show up to show up, to show up for themselves. That's the key. Why I mean what remarkable people we can sit here all day and and of course I'm happy to do that and talk about all the games, but the people that came, the courage that it took to to not know anyone, to not have any, maybe even any expectations, to step into the total unknown flipping, courageous was that. That's pretty impressive. That was impressive. I'm so proud. There's a certain element of anx anxiety, I guess, beyond you that each of us had coming in. Yeah. You know, I had been out of town. I didn't I felt like I hadn't even been able to talk to you or plan anything, but you showed up anyway. And little did we know we packed the same shirts and everything that we didn't forgot you, Ron. Yeah, so you know, probably looked at everyone else. We had done all this wonderful planning. We just showed up. We just showed up. That's it. We were able to transmute our anxiety and our fears into excitement and hope and belief that this was gonna be great. And then guess what? It was fine. Yeah. 10 out of 10. Recommend, do it again.

SPEAKER_02: 26:18

Yeah, can't wait to do it again.

SPEAKER_00: 26:22

So, watching these people and their courage, not only just coming in, I mean, and then even being right on time, right? As we arrived together in the opening circle, you could feel that energy, I think, from everybody. And then what happened was we all, us three, let everybody know we are not psychologists, we are not doctors. I've only got a 200-hour yoga search and you know, like whatever that meant in life, but we had the passion and the want to be able to hold the safe container for everyone who also had the passion and want to be there. And it was like everybody showed up full on. It was really, really cool. And what was also really cool is it gave the three of us a chance to step into this new portal of teaching, of showing, of sharing. Sharing, sharing for sure. That yes, we had done on our own, like you said, in silos, but it was like we finally met our match. Like all of this stuff, like we are all our whole community is a seeker on some level, of course. And we are all here to better ourselves on some level, like this whole entire the fits and community is that and we are able to step into these streets, step in your roles as guides, as aids and assistants, because before we came together and each other, we had to meet ourselves and so we did that, and now we're expanding that together and we're to be there through people and they are meeting themselves, and that can be kind of scary. It was for me, but I think being people and meeting ourselves where we're you know what, as long as we're still taking a breath, we haven't arrived. Right. Uh we haven't arrived. We're still traveling and we're still meeting ourselves with every single step that we take. Lessons that maybe we've been exposed to in the past, but those are those were happening then. There's a new thing coming every single day, and that we understand we are still on our path to co-create this whole entire thing. What I love too about that is it brings in different modalities, and I really want to hone in on that a little bit because not everybody wants to do yoga. Yes, yoga is made for everybody, but it's not for everybody. Does that make sense? Right, absolutely. Same with Reiki, same with coaching. Like they're not everybody wants to hear from me. They were very excited when I was sort of doing Reiki. My mom's gonna give a workshop on medicinal food. They were like, That's really what I'm touching for. I'm counting for the medicinal food. I really want to. know about that. I really want to know. Or I'm really covered for the the Reiki work. I want to know about like Mark was 10 out of 10 like Reiki's going to be I know energy work. I want to know about that. He was in it wrong. Matt was like tell me about those food I'm really into that. And no Jessica would tell me Matt's real excited about the food. I'll disappoint if she was like it wasn't a class on that. It was an experience. It was an experience for myself. I'll be flying wonderlessly and I'm like what can I do? And she's like loving. And I was and again this was but I'm supposed to help I I got it you go do whatever or I have to go draw cards for people. Those were also on point might I say you were doing your special doing the thing. Yeah. That was fun. That was a lot of fun. I thought I was going to read a book. That is so funny. Because it isn't what we uh thought would be any of it. Yeah. No, right? So so you know I don't know that I really went in with any expectation other than to not poison people. And it it was going to be palatable. That's about the only real expectation that I had when I really wasn't going to growl. Right. In in and if the dear that's because you didn't show up at the table that was an option that was an option. That was an option. No one chose that option. Well we do but I there again it is so surprising to me that y'all have a gift I know a chef and he makes wonderful things. Yes. No um know him no I'm shout out to no but umish me sh in Wolfville Kentucky. Yeah yeah he's what is the name of it me sh mef top maybe I actually was in like a chef good show. But anyway so there's a story about can I share that profile yeah there's a story about so the first time I met Noah it was your birthday party that we had here for all of the people from Mouvel all of her friends came. I don't know and all I know is I cooked five pounds of spaghetti noodles oh yes I yeah he wasn't at that one no oh that's that's not no wrong wrong party but he didn't like this to a fish prop party yes and he and Aubrey came in together with this brown bag of vegetables. Yes and I'm like I want dodo birds you know come in of course of course you know here they come with their brown bag and they've got all these fresh vegetables in it and they put it again like I'm supposed to know what to do with you know this massive looking and and so yes it's it's we get through whatever we're doing then that night I guess and then um it's the next morning and I'm really struggling to get the breakfast ready and this young paper bag veggie man that I saw from the night before comes into my kitchen and he's like can I help you with the breakfast and I'm like probably not but okay if you want to and he's like how about I just finish this off for you and I was like you know what I am tired go for it and I'll I walked out of the kitchen and he's like well I needed this that and the other I'm like here's the kitchen hands or someplace that direction whatever open anything you want to and I walked out of the kitchen and then breakfast was served and there was this whole entire table effortlessly set of food for 30 people maybe was here. There were a lot of people there were a lot of people and all of this food was on the table and I was like and he was maybe 24 at the time he wasn't very old no he wasn't very old and I'm like oh wow his paper bag had all kinds of stuff in there I mean it's gorgeous fried green tomato sauce to go with but I'm not the sauce berries were all inclusive of this like meal and his um casserole I've taken on that yesterday I can still taste the flavors I'm like no I'm like I'm very impressed by him I didn't think he'd be able to pull this off after all of that and all of the judgment that I passed on this guy poor thing I love him and he knows that now but I didn't really care one way or the other at the time but you know we all are on a journey and she said you know he's a chef now I'm like yeah you know I didn't know that but I could clearly see he was about to embark on his own life journey went to Chicago he was on top chef stuff like that one he won yeah and that was on it again recently some other chef show I don't know but anyway this is that does but it was and that's fine and yes of course it's the it's the gifts the whole thing I think is the gifts that you don't see yeah it's the untapped in versions of yourself that you don't know that's where the whole story was going it is it is somebody struggling and being frustrated and somebody out of the blue comes in and rescues or not even a rescue it isn't even a rescue it is offer assistance and somebody at a point in their life saying I'm over my head here and turning it open the whole thing to surrender so the story really had a meaning it is the surrender to say I don't have to walk this by myself right I do not have to go through any of this by myself because the chef will come the energy will come the vision will come the movement will come it's all of the things and the people will be here and every one of them brought their own kidnappers and that is the point that was the point of all of the things all of the things that we do in our lives they're not random we just think they are yeah we just think they are secretive secret yes so sorry I got off on that but I just apologize I was amazing it all together when you're least expecting the hatred from the person you never thought was going to offer it it's gonna help and hold you and tell you you are safe here you are safe here and we have each other you do not have to do this by yourself and that's what the whole thing was it started as a bot and it goes from there and it creates the bot so back to you all that no and that is that's the thing at all I can think of so many times throughout my and I know you all have to that's how we got here tending that air tending that ritual the safe event for complete strangers to come together come together with various backgrounds and who cares that's back there and into what we are and where we're going. Strangers we all have a lot of twist I mean I have the coolest week ever this week just because I've been able to reconnect with people and meet up you know who would have thought to be complete strangers or just a so far away a town over or and now we all know they were all bringing they're waiting for you yeah yeah to be able to say I'm like you too yeah you know we were all such kindred spirits in all of that and I hope I wasn't trying to stop you from talking no no no but I love that yeah extending the hand and I will say and I said I wrote this in my Substack article I hope you go and you read that the Fits in project but I will say that when I realized the moment I realized how awesome it was having everybody there and I didn't need to carry it all very early on the first day that we all actually got to sit together. You know I opened it up with everybody we all did our own morning um meditation and group thing with everybody and I and that's really all I had that's all I had I'm like oh shit I've you know I'm like yeah letting that go simultaneously I knew I was going to as we all had our own times and space designated already but like you know I asked a few days before what is it that you're going to talk about what are you going to do and she was like I don't know I said well the expectation I had set for the thing was medicinal foods and to to have the workshop on that and then you know we realized also throughout the summer that neither one of us gave 10 shits about any of that in these certain and that just wasn't a natural thing that we knew anyway. So we just like couldn't really it was that's what I'm feeling yeah it it's just like I don't know about medicinal food 1-800 Google and I'm like all right just forget about it and I didn't know what they were gonna say she's like I mean what the hell conversation it's just I can't control what's gonna come out of my I'm like okay so sorry I asked good God we get to attack and everything we arrived and she's doing her thing now and I'm just like I can't wait for this and everybody's sitting around and I'm just like I'm just gonna take pictures but see and I promised our friend Aubrey who had to cancel at the last minute and a few other people that I would record it and I'm like I am not gonna ruin her flow and said that I'm I'm not recording anything this I just can't do again wasn't natural. Right so when I'm sitting there and you're diving deep and asking these questions I'm just crying and finally breaking and I'm like this is exactly what I needed and the biggest thing was we aren't in control of anything right and like she talked to our fear and as I wrote like this was super cool watching her silence break because I've known her for 38 nine 39 years so it was really neat and the power and the impact and watching the breakthroughs happen in real time was one of the most miraculous things and a trust ball for me not that I didn't trust you it but it was a trust ball for me because I've never heard you in in that type of space right I've never been your student in a groups forum I've only been your daughter right and it's been one-on-one we did he she didn't even talk with me and my brother the same it was one-on-one it was you have this time my time is here now but it was the first time I was a group coached by you and I was like it was like an ocean wave it was good it was great it was extraordinary so then the rest of the whole time and providing our evening like that night I don't even remember anymore what happened but we had a good day good time a good self-reflection we went on our hike we got energized we did all of the stuff were you that night you were that night she was that y'all were both that day Saturday was it's Friday night yeah it was Friday and Friday afternoon and all night and all the I was the same yeah so it was wonderful to be able to say I don't have to do it all here's the kitchen here's the I am I am how lovely it was to have you guys yeah okay you know and and that's yeah and creating respace and giving us walking us through with your medications and and the mindfulness to set our intentions for the day no I I don't I'm like it's like you I mean otherwise it's called I was also a high school teacher and I would make a lesson plan but that's not what we were going for you know it was what it the it was spontaneous and I think that's the beauty of the entire thing from the mindfulness in the mornings to the afternoons to the evenings to be up before the sun came up that is cool. Before we would go to bed at night and to set our intentions and to release our bodies into the space into that whole entire beautiful container that somebody built that we made ours was everybody's gift right shallowing up full out individuals coming together yeah as a whole like you know if I hold and everything was effortless yes but also very intentional because that's the full balance. It was a full balance and everybody that came didn't specify what their need was they just came to what they and received yet that was one of the things I mean we talked about that while we were on the retreat and we all have come from different things um and how we give but we don't we don't even we're we're never schooled on taught how to receive the things that and to watch that for myself was I I don't I can't even describe to be in a position to receive to surrender the kitchen that that actor came out for a reason I don't know that came out for a reason to surrender the kitchen and say I don't know who you are but you seem to think you've got this and I'm gonna let you help me I'm tired and I'm tired and I'm gonna let you help me well you talk about trust vulnerability allowing yourself and every every one the three of us as well as our whole group collectively did that because we did from each other we did we all less nourished on every level yeah but I mean to see a clarity literary washed over the faces and it's like I got that oh my I I got that for the first time maybe I'm like I've of my I felt the energy got three added two yeah you're like a silent Master Splinter I'm so not that org is not best described in words it's a presence it's meant to be filled sometimes so that is a very similar thing everyone else's energy through me it's beautiful what more it open to creativity and whatever it's that we can have as much of this as we want we are creative we're allowed to be and live the life we want we don't want to help others that freedom that mission just coming right back to the boomerang the boomerang oh yeah the boomerang effect where we literally will give out in this pure intention and then when it comes back it comes back to us tenfold right and that's you can call it the karma effect you can call it the boomerang effect I'm going boomerang yeah boomerang yeah karma's whatever overused and underrated but at the same time boomerang right yeah what you thought well you are gonna get it out of yeah in one way shape or another and it doesn't ever look like how you flew it out yeah and that was what the business of yourself really dove into and I can't express that enough yeah and and I didn't and I and without giving away the magic of that the whole purpose was the boomerang effect and you can think about it ten ways a Sunday because that's just exactly what it was so that was super special in that you know for me to be able to lead my first workshop in person and find that ability to put words without movement was big for me it was big for me because usually I will I'm easy to take it on and off the mat for myself but how to put that and apply it to a whole framework of for people off the mat was a new realm that I got to step into and didn't even know it until it hit me like a sack of breaks and then I was like on my knees. I was like that just was my personal breakdown to break through the moment it was it was banana before like that shit just happened as well. Yeah but yeah it did happen it was and that was I'm gonna tell you because you didn't I just like you you filled me in such beautiful words and I appreciate them so much. But then we got to see you do that too and what that looked like like you said without the movement with the stillness and do your story craft that you do when we're on our night and see how personal that that I scored you with such conviction when you spoke was wonderful. I mean it was wonderful and it's like oh she is really into this I need to hear I need to hear you know you were experiencing once breaks but to us it was like you fall away yes of course of course yeah as you look yeah super neat so where do we go from here I mean like I will yeah where do we go from here? Yeah that's a perfect thing where do we go from here and that could be part T.

SPEAKER_01: 52:49

All right so I hope you loved that as much as I did and um stick around for part two. It's totally worth the binge of the second episode because part two is like where it's at so that's all I'm gonna say without spoiling it because it's really all I want to do right now. If you know me you know that I can't even hold my own secrets so it's why I have a podcast. But anyway um yeah stick here. Listen part two on its way